What is "Purpose Anxiety" and Why do we feel it?

Have you ever felt the immense pressure to find your purpose and passion in life?

If you’re stuck in a job you hate there can be huge pressure to work out what our passion and purpose is so that we can start to do that and leave our job, this feeling is often referred to as "purpose anxiety".

I know I felt this when I was stuck in a job back in 2016. I had been there for 10 years and I was suffering stress at work, which was then causing anxiety. I felt paralysed because I didn’t know what else to do. If I left my job then what would I do instead? What if I left my job and I lost all of the benefits that come with this job and I got it wrong and things weren’t better? What if things were the same again because I still didn’t know my purpose? What if things were worse??

So I stayed and stayed and tortured myself while I tried to figure out my true purpose and passion.

The difference between Passion and Purpose

One really important thing that I’ve learned on my own journey, and something I want to share with you right now is, purpose and passion are different things.

Purpose

Your purpose is to exist in this life, just as you do now, and try to live the best, happiest life you can while you’re here. That’s it. Life is filled with a whole range of experiences and emotions, good times and bad times, but I believe our job is to take as much as we can from those experiences and try to make the time we have as fulfilling and enjoyable as possible. So to me, that’s what our purpose is.

Passion

Our passion is something different. Passions are things we enjoy and we can have many passions all at the same time, or sometimes feel like we have none. I know when I was in the midst of burnout I didn’t have any hobbies and passions and I didn’t know what I enjoyed anymore as I was so exhausted and stressed with work that took up all my thoughts. But passions are the activities we do that bring us joy. So these can be a part of our purpose if we think of purpose as living a life of fulfilment, joy and happiness. But they aren’t our sole purpose.

What they mean in relation to your career

So if we apply this to our careers, which so many of us feel pressured to do, our goal is to find a career that gives us fulfilment, joy and happiness. But just for one part of our lives, not for our whole identity. Think of your life as a trivial pursuit piece - a circle divided into segments. Career is just one of these pieces that make up our lives. So what we do for a career isn’t our entire purpose. 

With passion, we might do our passion as a career - for example, an artist might make money from their work, but equally, an artist might just keep their art for themselves as a passion that makes them happy. Not every passion has to be made into a job or career.

So what is the answer then when it comes to being stuck in a job you hate?

I think instead of putting pressure on ourselves to figure out our "perfect happy forever career" right now we need to ask ourselves:

What is the next step I need to take right now to bring myself more happiness and fulfilment in my life, through my career?

So for example, Claire might be stuck in a job she finds really draining and would love to start turning one of her passions into a business, but no matter how hard she tries she just can’t find the time and energy to do that because her day job is so overwhelming.

So Claire might realise that right now if she asks herself "how can I bring myself more happiness and fulfilment into my life right now, and how does my job fit into this?", she might need to look at why she is so tired and has no time.

Identify the direct cause

Is she tired because her workload is too high? Why is her workload too high? Is it the same for everyone or does she struggle to say no or to delegate? Does she need to look at her boundaries and assertiveness so she can say no or delegate more often? Or does she need to ask her manager for a stress risk assessment to identify areas of stress and adjustments that can be made to reduce these stresses?

Identifying where the tiredness and lack of time is coming from, and being really honest about it, means she can put in place what she needs to gain more energy and time outside of her job. She could also look at whether she could change her working pattern to free up a half day or a full day every week so that she can have dedicated time to work on her passion project.

Explore other options with what you already have

Emma might have already tried talking to her manager and feels like she is getting nowhere. They just aren’t understanding or supportive at all and she hasn’t been able to resolve any of the issues she is experiencing at work. So Emma would then need to look at her other options. She could stay and carry on as she is, she could take things further and raise a grievance, or she could look for a job that will allow her more fulfilment, happiness and joy now. And in turn, the time and energy she needs to pursue her dreams.

Jess enjoys her job and gets a lot of fulfilment from it, so it’s great in those ways, however, it really doesn’t pay her enough money and she isn’t able to negotiate a pay rise as her employer works on set pay bands. Financial pressure is really worrying Jess and is impacting her ability to feel joy and happiness in her life right now.

So Jess has other options to consider. She could look for a promotion to receive more money, but this might take away from the enjoyment she finds in her current role, she could look for another job, but she doesn’t really want to leave as she loves her job, or she could investigate how she could make money with a ‘side hustle’ outside of work. She could think about what her passions are and what she enjoys about her job, consider the experience and knowledge she has to share, and then create a little business on the side of her job to top up her income. Jess has the time and energy to do this as her job doesn’t drain her.

Which example can you relate to the most?

Now I know I’m talking in very general terms about these three examples and things will be different for all of us, but can you see how I’ve shifted the focus to be on ‘what changes can I make now, with what I have and where I’m at, to bring more fulfilment, joy and happiness into my life.

Claire isn’t trying to figure out the perfect career or have her business generating 10k every month before she makes decisions to navigate herself to a better place. Jess isn’t making herself leave a job she enjoys to go and work somewhere that might make her unhappy, she’s considering all of the different possibilities that are open to her, not just employed work.

So can you ask yourself this same question?

What is the next step I need to take right now to bring myself more happiness and fulfilment in my life, through my career?

All you have to do is make the first decision that’s going to make things a bit better right now. Once you’ve done that you’ll feel differently about things than you do now, and you can then ask yourself the question again and again until you get to where you feel really good. 

I don’t think this process ever ends. I don’t think we will ever stop trying to navigate ourselves to a better and better place in our lives, because why would we? We want to live the most fulfilled, happy life we can. 

If you too are suffering with purpose anxiety and are feeling stuck in a job you hate...

Book a power hour with me and we can figure out the immediate steps you need to take to navigate yourself to a happier and more fulfilled place in your career and life.

For a limited time I'm offering a FREE 30 minute follow-up session so that we can come back together around 30 days after your initial power hour to see how things have been going and plan your next steps!

Hi, I'm Laura!

Freedom seeker, deep thinker and musicals lover!

I have over 12 years of experience in navigating myself to career happiness through toxic day jobs, redundancy and owning two different businesses. I've tried literally every combination of working, quitting my job, running a full-time business, working part-time, taking redundancy, going back to a day job, juggling a day job and a business, quitting one business, starting another business, and everything in between!

In my day jobs I've coached people to find the career that's right for them - whatever that looks like, as we are all unique! And that's the most important thing - because I've tried it all out myself I think outside the box and my superpower is thinking of ideas that you might not have considered. I am skilled at being able to listen to you and think both logically and creatively about how you can resolve the problems you are experiencing.

Book a power hour, lets have a chat, and if you don't feel I've helped you at the end then I'll refund you!

Laura x